If there is one genre of music we can learn something from, it’s 90s rap songs. These songs are filled with tasty little tidbits of information that we can carry with us for the rest of our lives. As long as the information you feel is pertinent to you is mainly about asses and drinking, that is.
1. Apparently, the more money you have, the more problems you have. I would have thought having money would have taken away some of those problems, but apparently not. I’d like to know what kind of problems Puffy and Mase really had when writing this song. Too much booze and too many women? I think not.
Fisheye lenses are one of wealth's many pitfalls.
2. Calling a fat man ‘big poppa’ is not only perfectly acceptable, it’s actually encouraged.
3. Eating lots of red beans and rice is a good thing. Any kind of fatty food will do, as long as you can gain some weight and get a big fat ass. Sir Mix-A-Lot’s anaconda don’t want none unless you’ve got big buns, so put down that lettuce leaf and grab some Cookies and Creme honey. You gotta let your fat flag fly!
4. You can do anything, as long as you put your ass into it. Asses were apparently extremely popular in the 90s. If you had a good one and you put that sucker to work, the possibilities were endless. At least, so this song would lead you to believe.
5. California really really REALLY knows how to party.
Apparently California parties in a very Mad Max sort of way.
6. Snoop Doggy Dogg’s name. And the astounding compatibility of gin and juice.
7. That when mama says knock you out, your ass is about to get laid out. What mama say goes, at least in regards to physical violence.
8. What O.P.P. means . Wait, it’s other people’s property, right?
9. Eminem harbors some unresolved feelings toward his mother/father/girlfriend/everyone else in the whole damn world. Angry rap songs are nothing new, but damn, Eminem took the whole angry schtick to a new level. Locking girlfriends in trunks is no big deal, right?
And fuck polka-dots too!
10. Songs don’t have to make sense to be awesome. Example: ‘It’s like that and like this and like that, and uh.’ What? It’s like what? What in the hell is it like?? I guess we’ll never know.
11. Rappers and hip hop artists love indiscriminately name dropping themselves in the middle of songs, particularly if it has absolutely no place in it. This sadly isn’t unique to 90s rap songs, but it seems to have started there.
12. Owning a Super Nintendo and a Sega Genesis is the pinnacle of fortune, at least according to Biggie.
13. Even lines from feature length Westerns are ripe for sampling into songs. Warren G and Nate Dogg know how to regulate any stealing of their property just as well as Emilio Estevez and Lou Diamond Phillips.
Jack Bauer doesn't need these three clowns to regulate your ass into submission.
14. The meaning of the word ’shoop’.
15. A gangsta’s paradise is no place to live. Don’t worry though, Michelle Pfeiffer will come to the rescue.
16. Don’t go chasing waterfalls; stick to the rivers and lakes that you’re used to. Or you’ll probably get HIV.
17. If you find your song is lacking in the chorus department, using a famous musical number from ‘Annie’ is absolutely fine.
The original gangsta.
18. Regardless of what you may have heard, parents just don’t understand.
19. Barking during a song? Well, it works for DMX. Or it did, until he disappeared off the face of the earth. .
20. Wearing your clothes backwards is a fantastic way to propel yourself to the top. At least for a few album releases.